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I was nine or ten when I first saw pornography. It was in my brother's room. The Frisbee my friend and I were throwing just happened to go in my brother's open bedroom window. As I retrieved it, I brought a magazine with me. That was the start of our collection.

I was 15 before I first started masturbating. I'd never heard of it until a "friend" told me about it. He said, "You've got to try this. it's so awesome!" I struggled with consistent masturbating for the next 18 years.

I was 17 when I had sex for the first time. I sang in my high school's choir. As I wondered into class one day I saw on the face of one girl the same look I'd seen in hundreds of pornography magazines. The look said, "My body is yours, if you want it." She was a one night stand that claimed she was pregnant. She wasn't. No consequences, so I kept looking for answers in sex.

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